It seems that some of the bugs that blighted the Zombie football game, Death Penalty World Cup on mousebreaker.com have been ironed out and that it is now more possible to complete the game.
The front page announces proudly that the game has been 'updated again' and that the 'impossible level' has been fixed. It's still really tough though, and requires a commitment bordering on obsession to complete (particularly if you're playing on a busted up old laptop).
- Braaaaiiiiinnsss!!!
Some bugs remain unfortunately, and it's still tricky (impossible?) to unlock all the achievements/medals even if you feel like you're doing all the right things.
I'm happy to say I have now completed the game and had the rare pleasure of beating Sepp Blatter to bits with a hailstorm of crisp volleys and satisfying blows to the testicular area (oo-er). I also like to think I had something to do with Michel Platini's recent restaurant based collapse.
Tips are hard to give for Zombie Football because so much of it is trial and error, and finding out what works for you.
Balls...
Personally I didn't find the ice ball too effective on most of the levels, though it works better against the flying beasties. The inferno ball (or whatever it is called, the fire one anyway) was no real good to me at all.
The exploding ball was consistently valuable and stayed in my arsenal for much of the game. The decapitator ball- the one that passes through a few zombies was also a useful asset until I jettisoned it in favour of the big power balls.
The flyaway Jabulani-esque ball is difficult to control, but is the only real way to finish the game as it is so destructive. Work out the best way to hit the big yellow and red cats with this and you're half way there.
Get the magic multiball involved as quick as you can too, because two exploding heads are better than one in this game, and this unknown quantity will help you beat the Beast of Blatter in the final level.
My top tip- don't underestimate the old-fashioned ball that you start off with. It has the benefit of bouncing back to you so you can have another crack or two at the onrushing undead horde. If in doubt, keep a couple of these in your locker and boost your throw-in speed and you should be able to hold off the zombies with a near constant barrage.
Happy 'capitating footy fans!!
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Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
Category Games, Internet |
To accompany the launch of their new Mini Rice range, Müller have commandeered an abandoned shop front on Manchester's St Ann's Square and they are giving tubs away to lucky passers-by.
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I have more than taken advantage of this generous offer so I can feed back my review on the ones I've tried:
The Müller Mini Rice pots are filled with 95g of flavoured rice pudding, perfect for a snack or as a calorie conscious pudding. They come in four flavours: Original (vanilla), Strawberry, Rasperry and Apple, all of which are most palatable.
Original: The staple of the stable, Müller haven't monkeyed about with the winning formula which you may know from their full-size Müller Rice range. I love rice pudding, and chilled from the fridge this was a great way to pacify my wailing sweet tooth. It's a lot sweeter than mother used to make though.
Strawberry: This is a twist on the classic, with a swirl of strawberry flavour goo in the bottom of the pot. If you like the original flavour and you like strawberry jam then this is probably the one for you. You have to mix the rice and the sauce together yourself to get an appetising swirl of reds, whites and pinks but it's worth it so you don't end up eating the two separately. They are definitely better together.
Raspberry: This was the last flavour I tried from the Müller hutch, but it quickly became my favourite. The raspberry tang is a really unusual bitter/sweet contrast to cut through the creaminess of the rice. Lovely stuff, perfectly suited to the bite-size nature of the Mini Müller Rice pots.
Apple: Not my favourite, as the apple flavouring was quite chunky - like the sort of apple sauce that would accompany a sunday lunch rather than a dessert, but much sweeter obviously. It was the only one of the flavours that didn't complement the rice so succesfully.
Get down to St Ann's Square (I'm sure Muller are doing something similar in other big cities too) and try them for yourself, and if you like what you taste Mini Müller Rice is available in Strawberry/Original, and Apple/Raspberry 6-packs.
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Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Category Food and Drink, Manchester, Shopping |
WRA Rating: 
Rev., the new BBC Two comedy, follows the struggles of the unfortunately named Reverend Adam Smallbone (played by co-creator, Pirates Of The Caribbean
star Tom Hollander) as he attempts to build a congregation in an under-funded inner-city parish.
This fine off-beat comedy/drama succeeds where other religious-themed series like Vicar of Dibley failed. The broad, zaniness of ...Dibley meant that, despite the winning, charming prescience of Dawn French, the series quickly became tired, familiar and largely unwatchable.
Taking some cues from modern successes like the Office, Rev. paints from a much subtler palette, with no canned laughter, slapstick or predictable dialogue needed to make Rev. a funny and entertaining watch.
With well-written interactions and plotlines, superb characterisation and strong comedic performances Rev. feels like a classier act altogether, and it’s reassuring to get such a sense of craft and class from a TV comedy; the difference between eating free range and battery farmed eggs.
Carrying the whole project is Tom Hollander’s immensely likeable yet awkward and pitiable Rev Smallbone, who desperately tries to revive interest in his religion in an apathetic community.
- Rev. star Tom Hollander
Smallbone’s resigned attitude to the many, many moral challenges he faces - tinged with occasional moments of misguided, over-excited optimism - are both winning and amusing. His toe-curlingly awkward attempts to be ‘relevant’ and contemporary move the show into areas of gentle farce and social mortification with equal success.
Unfortunately for the Rev, the only truly dedicated members of his congregation are nutboxes like Colin the homeless letch (played by Steve Evets) and paedophile-hunting zealot Adoha Onyeka (Ellen Thomas from Teachers and also some appalling BBC Three series).
As his parish fails and his congregation dwindles Smallbone is forced into increased interaction with the other thriving religious communities in the area.
Hollander is at his best in these moments, parlaying with Muslim prayer groups and Christian Charismatics. Outwardly tip-toeing around the big contentious issues and trying desperately to do the right thing, he manages to convey that the Reverend’s beliefs dictate that he finds these other religions ridiculous. As a man he respects their right to believe in whatever but, as a Vicar, he thinks that they are wrong, and to Hollander’s immense credit it shows.
Getting no support from his snickering, oddball colleague Nigel (Miles Jupp), the liberal-minded Smallbone must rely on his endlessly frustrated church-widow wife (the fantastic Olivia Colman from Peep Show and Green Wing) for reassurance and to put up with him.
Other mentions need to be made here for other superb members of the cast, such as Simon McBurney playing the lackadaisical Archdeacon Robert, whose brilliantly bizarre delivery of lines has me in stitches every time he speaks.
Rev is a comedy with a sweet heart; it doesn’t mock or ridicule its targets, but intelligently picks at the loose threads that make them ridiculous. It treats its characters with affection, and you quickly grow to like and understand the well-drawn ensemble.
I think I’ve commended pretty much all the actors involved in the series, which should tell you something about the calibre of it. I’m convinced that the Rev. will become a regular fixture on BBC2, as it would be a travesty if this subtly brilliant comedy is dropped in favour of some blaring BBC Three-style pile of cow slurry or yet another Mock the Week format panel show.
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Rating: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Category TV and Film |
Because, what is the point of a review blog if you can’t settle scores and pursue personal vendettas?
I have had an absolute shambles of a time trying to set up a joint account with NatWest.
Initially it seemed easy enough; my girlfriend, an existing customer, applied for a joint account online using the very customer friendly NatWest website.
In a week or so we received a letter telling us how to proceed. So far, so good.
Here’s where the wheels start to come off though.
My girlfriend, as an existing customer, breezes through the process like a celebrity guest backstage at a rock festival, but I am apparently some kind of security risk, and very possibly a fictional character. That’s a bit cryptic, so let me explain:
NatWest need me to prove my identity and my address before they can give me the keys to their banking kingdom.
Right, so, my address.
A) I want a joint account so I’m likely to live with the other named party.
B) I’m reading a letter that you sent to me at MY house, you rank and egregious cretins.
This said, it’s not such a problem; I have a water bill with my name and current address on so I can just send that off. OK, deep breaths.
My identity
I have a passport, I have a driver’s licence, I have any number of documents with my name on them. I even have my original, decade old, National Insurance card knocking around somewhere.
These commonly accepted, mostly photographic, and very difficult to forge documents are apparently not good enough for the wizards of time wasting at NatWest.
You cannot send your originals and photocopies are no good either.
Instead I am asked to choose from a list of arcane documents relating to taxes and benefits, none of which I have ever seen or heard of.
Clearly, I cannot supply these documents that I do not possess. Instead I try to fill the postage paid envelope provided with my swearwords, tears and hate. I re-read the application form and find that these are not appropriate either.
We have a conundrum.
As I am now in a sulky rage, my better half rings the NatWest helpline and after a lengthy period on hold she gets through to someone.
The customer service technician informs us that we should go to a branch and have my identification documents (passport and utility bill) checked, copied and certified by a member of staff. We can then post these off, and we’ll be back on track.
In the branch, the guy at the enquiries desk is supremely helpful. He takes the documents required, copies them and talks me through what to do next (post them, along with the application form). I’m still not 100% sure why we can’t sort all this out in the branch, here and now, but fine.
By this stage, through no fault of our own, we are rapidly approaching the 30 day (from the date of the letter from NatWest) deadline. This has been a convoluted, complicated and confusing process. I want to open a bank account. I’m not applying for a job as a royal concubine, and it really shouldn’t be this difficult.
After a really, really long time- so long that we’re beginning to suspect that our application has been lost- we receive another letter, again asking for proof of my identity and address.
In my mind I am kicking a man dressed as the NatWest logo to pieces, with shoes made of pointless bureaucracy. In real life I am a sobbing, balled up, rocking husk of a man.
Again, she who makes things better talks to NatWest for me. I doubt they would take my call, given that I may not exist; would the phone even ring if I dialled their number? NatWest: philosophical existentialist banking.
We were told that the copied documents that were witnessed and stamped- in a glittering NatWest branch, by a NatWest employee- were not up to scratch.
The large green and blank stamp in the centre of the copied sheets, and the bold signature I saw on each, must not have been visible in the netherworld of NatWest administration HQ, where only runes scrawled in sacrificial blood are recognised as legitimate.
After about 6 weeks of running into brick walls, we are thoroughly battered and bloody, exhausted and somewhat disturbed. Crucially, we still don’t have a joint account.
Is this debacle a one-off, or have you had a similar experience with NatWest? Has anyone actually managed to open a joint account? Let us know.
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Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
Category Internet, Lifestyle, Shopping |
I did a post a few days ago advising you to stop chumping all your money away on expensive brand-name hayfever tablets. Well, good news you summertime sneezers, because I've discovered an even cheaper alternative to the Galpharm generics that I foisted upon you last time.
Pollenshield Hayfever Relief 
tablets are a staggeringly low 49p for a one-a-day pack of 7 from your local Lidl store.
They are available elsewhere but that is the cheapest I have seen them first-hand.
Again, you're getting a standard 10mg tablet of delicious antihistamine goodness, and this time it's everyone's favourite flavour Cetirizine Hydrochloride.
Their elongated, rugby ball shape are a bit bigger than most hayfever tablets, but this increased size is strangely comforting, for me at least. Give me a man-size hayfever tablet, for manly men.
I've been taking them for a few days now with great results. All my usual gnawingly itchy symptoms have diminished to, at worst, a background hum and at best total silence. There have been a few random eruptions of sneezing but no prolonged nasal discomfort and no signs of the revolting, gloopy nose business that so disgusts and bewilders non-sufferers.
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Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
Category Health and Beauty, Shopping |
